Settling In at Nursery: What Parents Can Expect and How We Support Every Step

A calm, confident guide by Kidz Kabin, for parents navigating one of the biggest transitions in early childhood.

Starting nursery is a milestone moment. For children, it may be their first experience of being cared for outside the family home. For parents, it often brings a swirl of emotions: excitement, pride, guilt, worry, relief and hope — and often, all at once.

One of the most common questions we hear is:

“How do I know if my child is settling well?”

Closely followed by:

“Is this reaction normal?”

The short answer is yes. There is no single “right” way to settle into nursery. Children arrive with different temperaments, experiences and emotional needs. Some begin as babies; others start confidently as toddlers or preschoolers. For children, it’s the beginning of a brand-new relationship with the world beyond home and what matters most is how that transition is supported.

At Kidz Kabin, settling-in is not a test to pass or a timeline to race through. It’s a gentle transition; a relationship-building journey that deserves time, patience and trust, and that's why we walk alongside children and parents, step by step.

This article explains what settling-in is, how we support both children and parents through the process, and why a child’s emotional security always comes before any timetable.

What “Settling In” Really Means

Settling-in isn’t about a child happily waving goodbye on day one (though sometimes that happens). It’s about something much deeper.

A child is considered settled when they:

• Feel emotionally safe in their environment

• Trust their key worker to meet their needs

• Can separate from their parent knowing they will return

• Begin to explore, play and communicate with confidence

  
  

This process looks different for every child. Some move through it quickly. Others take longer, with a few wobbles along the way. Neither tells you anything about your child’s resilience or your parenting.

At Kidz Kabin, we see settling as the foundation for everything that follows: confidence, learning, friendships and a sense of belonging.

Why Separation Can Feel So Big (and Why That’s Healthy)

From a developmental perspective, separation anxiety is normal and it’s a sign of healthy attachment.

Young children rely on familiar adults to regulate their emotions. When that familiar person leaves, the brain’s emotional centre (the limbic system) briefly goes into alert mode: “Something has changed. I need reassurance.”

What helps children move through this moment isn’t rushing, distraction or prolonged goodbyes. It’s consistent, predictable care and a familiar adult who responds calmly and warmly.

This is why key workers are so central to high-quality nursery care. A trusted key worker becomes the bridge between home and nursery life; someone who understands a child’s cues, comforts them when needed and celebrates their small wins.

It’s also why choosing the right nursery environment matters so much. A calm, responsive setting with emotionally attuned practitioners makes settling-in significantly smoother. If you're at the beginning of your journey, you may find it helpful to read our guide: How to Choose the Right Nursery for Your Child.

How Settling In Works at Kidz Kabin

We offer a one- or two-week settling-in period, depending on parental preference, though we often recommend a one-week approach as it provides continuity and momentum for children. That said, no process is fixed. We always adapt the pace to suit the child and family.

In the early days, parents are warmly welcomed into the nursery. Children explore the room alongside their parent, meet their key worker and begin to form those first connections. Gradually, parents step back, sometimes sitting in reception, sometimes leaving for short periods, but always guided by how both the child and parent are feeling.

As the week progresses, children are gently introduced to more of the daily routine: snacks, lunch, rest time and eventually, fuller days. Parents often notice temporary changes during this time, such as eating habits, sleeping differently, or needing extra comfort. These shifts are completely normal during transitions and will settle as children feel more secure.

Supporting Parents Through the Transition

We understand that settling-in can sometimes feel harder for parents than for children. Children are often remarkably adaptable, while parents carry the emotional weight of the change. For that reason, we invite parents to sit with us in reception, have a coffee, and even watch their child engaging happily via CCTV until they feel ready to leave.

Throughout the settling-in process, communication remains open and consistent. Parents receive regular photo updates and observations through our secure app, offering reassurance and a real window into their child’s day. On the first day of settling, families are also given a communication book, helping to keep everything clear and reassuring during what can feel like an overwhelming time.

This partnership approach reflects how we work more broadly. Strong parent relationships are at the heart of high-quality early years care. You can read more about how we work alongside families in our guide, How to Choose the Right Nursery for Your Child.

Settling In at Different Ages and Stages

Not all children start nursery as babies. Some join us as toddlers or preschoolers, and settling-in looks different at each stage.

Blue Room (6 months – 2 years)

For babies and young toddlers, settling is primarily about attachment.

Children at this stage settle through:

• Consistent key worker relationships

• Physical comfort and closeness

• Predictable routines

• Familiar voices, songs and sensory experiences

  
  

You may notice your baby crying at drop-off but settling quickly once comforted. This is a sign of healthy attachment and growing trust in another caring adult.

Yellow Room (2 – 3 years)

Toddlers are becoming more independent, but their emotions are bigger and louder. Settling at this age often includes moments of confidence followed by tears, strong opinions about routines, and emotional releases after busy days. This is entirely typical.

Play-based learning plays a vital role here. Through tuff trays, role-play, sensory activities and shared storytelling, toddlers process feelings they can’t yet articulate. You can explore this further in Learning Through Play: How Play Builds Early Literacy, Maths & Social Skills.

Green Room (3 – 5 years / Preschool)

Preschool children often understand what’s happening, but that doesn’t mean they don’t feel it. They may ask lots of questions, show confidence at nursery but release emotions at home, and rely heavily on friendships to feel secure. Settling here is supported through emotional literacy, peer relationships, predictable routines and a growing sense of independence.

How Long Does Settling In Take?

There is no universal timeline.

Some children appear settled within days; others take weeks, sometimes with small regressions after illness or holidays. This is developmentally normal.

What matters is progress:

• Is your child building trust?

• Are they forming relationships?

• Do they recover from upset more quickly over time?

  
  

A strong nursery keeps parents informed throughout, sharing observations, reassurance and honest communication.

Why Emotional Security Comes Before Learning

Children learn best when they feel safe. Emotional wellbeing is not separate from learning and in fact, it is the foundation of it.

Once a child feels settled, their curiosity naturally follows. They begin to explore, communicate, form friendships and engage in play with confidence. This is why our settling-in process is so closely connected to how children learn at Kidz Kabin.

Play-based learning allows children to process emotions, practise social skills and develop early literacy and maths in a way that feels joyful rather than forced. If you’d like to explore this further, our article Learning Through Play: How Play Builds Early Literacy, Maths & Social Skills

explains how meaningful learning grows from secure relationships.

Understanding Development Through the Settling Period

Settling-in also gives key workers valuable insight into a child’s development. Through careful observation, practitioners begin to understand a child’s communication style, emotional needs, interests and strengths.

These observations feed into how we support each child’s development in line with the EYFS. If you’re curious about what development typically looks like at different ages, our guide EYFS Milestones: What Parents Can Expect from 6 Months to 5 Years offers a reassuring, room-by-room overview.

How Parents Can Support Settling In

Your role matters enormously, even when you’re not physically present.

Helpful strategies include:

• Keeping goodbyes calm, warm and predictable

• Avoiding sneaking away (this breaks trust)

• Speaking positively about nursery at home

• Trusting your child’s key worker

• Allowing space for emotional release after nursery

  
  

Remember: children often hold themselves together during the day and let go when they’re back with their safe person. That’s not regression — it’s trust.

When to Ask for Extra Support

If settling feels particularly challenging, speak to your nursery. Early years professionals are trained to spot when a child needs additional reassurance or a slightly adapted approach.

This is especially important for children with additional needs or sensitivities. A good nursery will work in partnership with families, adapting routines, offering extra support and ensuring every child feels understood and included.

The Power of Routine: Why Breakfast Matters Every Day

While settling-in week helps children form their first attachments, settling doesn’t stop after week one. For many children, it’s the daily rhythm of arrival that truly shapes how secure they feel over time. Children thrive on predictability, especially during periods of change. Knowing what comes next helps them feel safe and in control.

One of the most powerful routines in a nursery day is breakfast.

Recent research in child psychology has shown that shared meals act as a powerful emotional regulator. Studies suggest that beginning the day with a calm, shared breakfast lowers stress levels and helps stabilise children’s moods throughout the morning. The brain interprets shared meals as a safety signal; a quiet message that says, “Everything is okay.”

At Kidz Kabin, every day starts with breakfast. For many children, this becomes their first emotional anchor after separating from home. Sitting down, being greeted warmly and sharing food with familiar peers and adults creates a sense of belonging before the day unfolds.

For children who find transitions tricky, this gentle rhythm is incredibly grounding. Breakfast is indeed about fuel and nutrition, but just as importantly, it’s also about connection, predictability and emotional security every single day.

Settling Is a Journey, Not a Test

Settling into nursery isn’t about leaving your child behind. It’s about walking alongside them as their world gently expands.

There is no perfect reaction, no gold-standard response and no “failed” settling-in period. What matters most is that your child feels safe, supported and understood.

At Kidz Kabin, we believe emotional security comes first. When children feel safe, everything else, including learning, confidence, friendships and independence, grows naturally from there.